Welcome to our problem page with Linda B! Linda B is a leading international life coach from Iceland and is a LET Communication Consultant, Trauma Resiliency Model expert, Former President of the Icelandic Coaching Federation and Board of Icelandic Women’s Business Association. We’ve partnered with her to help our readers with their problems!
We met Linda whilst working with global charity, The Unity Of Faiths Foundation, as she was one of their Ambassadors. Linda is an inspiring woman with a wealth of knowledge about social issues and she is also a published author. Her latest book, Book Of All Seasons, is a book of useful life advice and quotes and has been met with critical acclaim globally.
Hello my Liverpool friends! In this feature I’d like to talk to you about the ever increasing number of narcissists in our communities.
Did you know there are vampires around us today who suck up all the good things we have to offer and then leave us with broken hopes, broken promises, broken hearts and a crippled, traumatized identity. They hide in their homes, workplaces, schools, hospitals and in fact everywhere you can imagine, no matter what class or position they hold.
These vampires like to use mental oppression, humiliation, lies and other things to get what they need from their victims and they cannot be trusted to keep their word or their commitments. They are terribly bored when they are expected to be responsible adults and care little about respecting others’ boundary settings.
They are cheaters, swindlers and opportunists who take everything they need from their victim before moving on to the next one. They are masters of deception and they achieve their goals with a charm as well-executed as a well-written script, and this same script is repeated with each of their victims to gain control of them.
Vampires don’t care about other people’s feelings and lives if they get what they want. They are emotional bullies but, in the beginning, and they often use love bombing as their first bait. At the end of the relationship, however, the victim is left lifeless with a damaged self-image in an unreal existence that they are told is a reality.
Popular torture methods of the vampires are exclusion, ignoring and humiliation (even in public), tantrums, externalization, threats, gaslighting, creating trauma bonds and they sometimes even use sexual repression.
It is difficult for people to get away from those vampires who usually have control over their victim and hold them in the grip of various kinds. If it is a couple relationship it is difficult for the partner to get away because of the pure rape of their emotions and the victim is paralyzed by fatigue and brain fog, unable to really take such a decisive stand.
As their victim you either live in admiration or exaltation and you are either the most special person that has ever walked the ground or the most disgusting thing that has ever been born. Living like this makes every person crazy in the end, and that is probably the purpose of the vampire from the beginning. But what are the narcissistic personality symptoms?
Well to start with they have a great sense of self-importance and they are preoccupied with power, beauty, or success. They feel entitled, and they can only be around people who are important or special or the ones that can do something for them. They are arrogant and lack empathy, and they want to be admired and most of all they want others to be envious of them or to believe they are special.
According to The Gottman Institute, there are four key things present in an abusive relationship — criticizing, contempt, if you are on the defensive and if you start building a stone wall. If any of these things are present we should ask ourselves are we living with a narcissist?
Always remember you that you deserve to be happy. Don’t let anyone control who you are, how you feel, what you’re thinking, what you’re up to or what you’re experiencing. If you start seeing red flags early with someone you need to address these early before the vampire has you under their spell. And here’s something I always tell people — only stay in a place where you feel at peace.
Lots of love, Linda x