I LOST MY WOMB BUT NOW I EMPOWER WOMEN!
After years of intense pain and unbearable suffering, Aimee Pegram made the heart breaking decision to have a hysterectomy at just 27 years of age. Losing her most sacred life giving gift could’ve easily destroyed her but instead she set out on an awe inspiring journey of self discovery — resulting in her finding her true inner voice and helping countless women across the globe find theirs too.
From the age of 18, Aimee endured years of agony due to adenomyosis — a condition that can cause heavy bleeding and pain within the womb — and although she worked as a Wellbeing Advisor for the Department Of Work And Pensions, her quality of life was massively affected by her condition.
Aimee explained: “I can’t even begin to tell you how crippling and misunderstood adenomyosis is. I held down a job helping others for as long as I could but the reality was that I was in pretty much constant, debilitating pain. So many day to day things caused the pain to flare and left me unable to live a normal life, it got unbearable at times. For most of the month I was in agony, sometimes to the point of wanting to end my life, I just wanted the pain to stop no matter what.”
Throughout her battle with the condition, Aimee sought refuge in a number of places. In her younger years she turned to drink and drugs before finding Buddhism and spirituality which gave her the tools she needed to view her pain and hope for life differently, however no outlet could distract her from the permanent pain she was in.
At 25 years old she moved from Hemel Hempstead to Liverpool where she settled and finally made the painful decision of sacrificing her womb as a last resort in order to regain some kind of normal life.
Aimee told us: “The condition became so ingrained in me that the pain became me. For years I had no guidance or real options so did everything I could to numb what I was experiencing. But my want to escape and my addiction to pain medications only made things worse.”
“Wandering into a Buddhist monastery and discovering Mindfulness was a fundamental part of my healing journey but the pain was still overwhelming. Moving to Liverpool, having a fresh start and meeting beautiful people was another huge step towards happiness but in the end I had to take ownership, find my own diagnosis and make the most difficult decision of my life.”
“I think deep down I have always wanted children, although I denied it for years because I believed it wouldn’t be possible due to the condition I had. It’s human nature for most women to want to have children and I have always been a very giving and loving person, so not being able to give that gift of life and give all my love to a child of my own was heart breaking. I ended up turning to music and found some incredible spiritual teachers that are now life long friends along the way and from that point on everything changed.”
Free from physical pain but faced with a new kind of heartache in the form of infertility, Aimee could have quite easily spent years dwelling upon her misfortune but instead decided to pick up her old guitar, spread her wings and find her true inner voice. By doing so, she found her own identity through music and she soon realised that she could give a different kind of gift — the gift of music and female empowerment.
Aimee told us: “I first met my Grandad when I was 21 and through him I became a young musician. I was in a couple of bands and played at events here and there but my condition was a major restriction so it was more of a hobby than anything. I always kind of knew I was a good musician and had potential but it took a bad situation to unlock my true potential.”
“By choosing to have the life changing operation of removing my womb, I was lucky enough to be set free from the pain I had been experiencing for almost 10 years, and with that it also set me free as a musician, because rather than focus on the sadness of the situation and what I couldn’t do, I decided to focus on what I could do — music. This journey of self discovery, learning to truly love myself and living my truth made me realise that I could help others to do the same and everything has grown from there.”
After finding her true inner voice and her purpose in life, Aimee travelled around Asia, where she trained to be a sound healer, a yoga teacher and a certified mindfulness coach. Combining music, voice activation, sound healing, yoga, meditation, mindfulness, positive affirmations and mantras, her gift of music evolved and she began hosting female empowerment events to help other women heal and grow in the same way that she did.
Aimee has since performed at conscious gatherings and spiritual events all over the world, as far and wide as Germany, Bulgaria and Bali, and has hosted female empowerment retreats in countries such as Portugal and Thailand. She also organises an annual festival in Wales called ‘The Great Goddess Gathering’ that brings women together to share, heal, grow and learn through a number of activities and workshops.
Aimee explained: “I’ve been to some dark places and experienced years of disconnection and suffering but going through this trauma actually brought me closer to myself and gave me a sense of purpose. I turned to music and that’s when I found my true inner voice. I discovered who I really am.”
“I also came to realise that there are many women out there who, for one reason or another, that don’t feel they have a voice. It took years of pain for me to find my true self and now that I’ve done that I want to help other women find themselves too.”
“For some time I felt that having a hysterectomy made me lose my identity as a woman but the truth is it’s actually given me a purpose and a voice I never knew I had. The natural step for me was to share that gift with others and it’s so inspiring to see women of all backgrounds reconnect with themselves. It’s easy to forget how strong we are and sometimes we need to go to dark places to discover our strength, but once we have that voice, that empowerment, anything is possible.”
One of the women who Aimee has helped told us: “Aimee awakened a power within me that I did not even know existed. Or perhaps I did know but it was her guidance and her wisdom that led me to remember. During our session I had a number of profound experiences; journeying into the depths of my womb, my shadow, my heart, and activating the limitless nature of my being.”
“I had tears streaming down my face and waves of chills—waves of remembrance—enveloping my entire body. I felt completely safe and fully seen in her presence, a gift in its self. She opened a portal for me that has continued to expand for months after working together. I am deeply grateful for the gift of Aimee’s guidance and I look forward to continuing this powerful work with her.”
Aimee summarised: “I would never freely suggest to any woman to have a hysterectomy, for me after almost a decade of pain, misdiagnosis and very little options to support me through the years, I had no other choice, and it’s not one I made lightly. But my intention now is to provide others who are feeling disconnected and on similar journeys the guidance, tools and support that I never had.”
“I want to offer hope, compassion and promise that they too are worthy of living a full and loving life. I have never felt more connected to my body, and believe it or not my womb too, despite her not being there physically anymore so I hope my story can inspire others to know that anything is possible. These messages of love, truth and acceptance is now echoed through all of my music.”
Aimee continues to host events and inspire both women and men with her gift of music and healing. She is also now a key component of Liverpool based wellbeing centre and CIC, Inner Guru, that promotes physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing — leading regular female empowerment workshops and ‘Music For The Heart’ events. We all love a talented singer/songwriter but Aimee is much more than that — a very special woman indeed.
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