Linda B is a leading international life coach from Iceland and is a LET Communication Consultant, Trauma Resiliency Model expert, Former President of the Icelandic Coaching Federation and Board of Icelandic Women’s Business Association. We’ve partnered with her to help our readers with their problems via our problem page and free advice in articles….

To submit an anonymous and confidential question to Linda for free advice email or contact her on FACEBOOK!

I know little worse than an unhealthy love relationship and perhaps all interpersonal relationships. Therefore, I decided to put down some points from various sources that helped me when I was opening my eyes about my own unhealthy relationship way back and what work I had to do to let go of it and stand on my own feet as my own best friend.

There are many more things that I could have picked up, but I’ll let these few things suffice this time. But being in an unhealthy relationship is something no one should do, so if you find your self in one, please get help to set boundaries and learn to love your self a whole lot more. You may well be in an unhealthy relationship if you resonate with one of the below….

To submit an anonymous and confidential question to Linda for free advice email or contact her on FACEBOOK!

  • You are unhappy in a relationship but too scared of the other option of getting out of the
    relationship and having a new life.
  • You are feeling like you are walking on eggshells and trying not to upset your partner.
  • You are neglecting your own needs for their needs.
  • You are neglecting your friends and family to make your spouse happy.
  • You seek your spouse’s consent a lot.
  • You are criticizing yourself through your spouse’s eyes and you ignore your own intuition.
  • You are sacrificing a lot for your spouse without it being valued or recognized.
  • You prefer to live in this state of alienation instead of get out of the relationship.
  • You bite your tongue and suppresses your own feelings (may not even know how you feel and do not know your own feelings) just to keep the peace.
  • You feel responsible for your spouse’s unwanted behaviour and you even blame yourself for something that your spouse does.
  • You go into a defence mode when others talk about what’s going on in your relationship.
  • You are trying to save your spouse from himself.
  • You feel ashamed or guilty when you stand up for yourself and yours.
  • You think you deserve this treatment (even because of past mistakes in life).
  • You believe that no one else wants you.
  • You are deceived by the guilt that is placed on you when your spouse tells you that they can not live without you, so you don’t get out of the relationship. (the cycle of control in some cases).
  • You argue with a person who is either in the role of Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde but you know that it will not have any point because there are no ordinary arguments going on there.
  • You know you will not get the things you want from the relationship because it was never in the intention of the other person who, however, makes you believe that it is so while you are being dragged back into the relationship when all you want is to get out of it.
  • You are constantly hitting one of Gottman’s 4 horsemen of apocalypse, or criticism, contempt, defence and stone walling / silence, and you just act like everything is ok even though your heart tells you that things are not right.
  • If you set goals for what you want for your life but you do not act upon them.

To submit an anonymous and confidential question to Linda for free advice email or contact her on FACEBOOK!

These are just a few of the many things that can indicate that your relationship isn’t as it should be, and if you find these issues relevant to you, take them seriously and get help working on them. And last but not least, the old saying goes: “An empty bed is better than having the wrong spirit in it.”

An unhealthy relationship is a deadly serious condition at its worst and life is far too short to spend it with those who do not respect you or love you just the way you are. And if you need some help dealing with your life’s issues or perhaps to discover your unhealthy patterns and how to set boundaries then I’m just one appointment away from you.

Until next time,

Linda B x

To submit an anonymous and confidential question to Linda for free advice email or contact her on FACEBOOK!



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